I did this Emotional intelligence activity with Miss T the other day. I have been increasing our emotional intelligence activity ideas for the purpose of teaching the kids to regulate extreme emotions and express them self better. The are quite the opposite, Dimples is such a sensitive and strong willed little boy who is a total jokester and Miss T is always singing and happy but then in the blink of an eye she is fierce and reacts quickly. This emotions intelligence activity for Miss T has been helpful to teach her how to express her emotions, particularly at times when she is feeling over-whelmed. It has also been a great help in allowing her to connect with me, one on one and have the time to reflect on the day, talk about her experiences and the way she’s been feeling.
This emotional intelligence activity is based upon the 5 core emotions of emotional intelligence like in the movie Inside out, but also from the book Emotional intelligence 2.0 It aims to help children identify and label feelings while provide descriptors and vocabulary to help them express an emotion. This can enhance their empathy and emotional intelligence, whilst you connect with them and show them that emotions are acceptable and something we need to be able to cope with through talking about it.
We have watched Disney’s movie ‘Inside Out’ recently. You can get it here, Inside Out the DVD. We Discussed the 5 characters; Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Anger & Fear. These are similar to the 5 Core Emotions that we worked on from 2.0
Why you should do an Emotional intelligence activity with your child.
Lately I have been learning more about Emotional Intelligence and how it is a great predictor of success. I am fascinated by the concept and the numerous ways it can be beneficial for children. The findings are interesting and many schools now include emotional intelligence curriculum due to the importance of this skill in children’s behaviour and social competence.
Doing an Emotional intelligence activity can help your child’s ability to regulate emotions, understand emotions and be emotionally aware and mindful in social situations. All skills associated with positive behaviour and social confidence in children.
An emotional intelligent person is better able to cope with stress, adapt to change, communicate effectively, work well as a team and they are generally more confident in making appropriate decisions.
Learning the 5 Core Emotions and describing them.
The starting point to Emotional Intelligence and Empathy is to identify and understand emotions. There are believed to be 5 core emotions; Happy, Sad, Afraid, Angry and Shame. All other feelings can fall under these core emotions as descriptors. Discussing the core emotions and different levels of feelings in important. Start asking questions about the colours and how it makes them feel, offer some leads and make up hypothetical situations to start them thinking about “inside out”, their emotions, these emotions below and situations they might have been in where they have experienced or seen extreme emotion.
The Emotional Intelligence Activity.
This one was for my 3.5 year old, Miss T. (Print the Activity Sheet Below and cut it out, cut all descriptors out and grab some glue).
I read the emotions and she identifying them by colour. Based on the movie inside out, we identified what emotions in the picture above matched the characters. Miss T pulled the faces and did the appropriate body language as I read. We talked about there meaning and some hypothetical situations, and read the descriptors.
I gave her the glue and read descriptors individually so that she could paste on to the picture above. If she was hesitant I asked her a question or gave her a lead. For example, if you were really disappointed in something (give a facial clue, or voice tone clue) how would you feel? or… What does your face do when you are really excited? Which colour from Inside out has a face like that?
She surprised me! Happy and afraid were quite clear to her, she often confused anger and sadness until we talked about it more and she had ah-huh moments. Shame however is still an abstract concept for her age but she was happy to discuss and mimic my facial expressions and body language. Join below to gain instant access to the printable activity.
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Click here or on the pic above to download and print the Activity Sheet with some descriptors.
How we learn from this Emotional Intelligence Activity.
- Identifying the core emotions is the begin of empathy and emotional awareness.
- The use of Colours associated with a feeling is an effective visual cue.
- Establishing a stronger connection with your child.
- Labelling descriptive feelings and developing vocabulary about emotions. This helps children learn how to express, in words, the different levels of feeling associated with an extreme emotion.
- Empathy- Becoming aware that other people experience a variety of different emotions at different levels of experience.
- Connecting with parents and reinforcing that children can speak to their parents about their feelings.
- Initiating conversation and hypothetical situations that allow children to think critically about what they would do and how they can respond. This is the start of emotional regulation and can give you the opportunity to teach appropriate ways to regulate emotions.
I hope you found something interesting or useful in this post. We had so much fun putting it together and are delighted to share it with you.
You might also like this Emotional Intelligence Game
It is a twist on an old classic to develop listening skills and EI.
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See you again soon, Renee xx
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Mel Roworth says
What a fantastic activity! Thank you, I can’t wait to see how my kids react to this one!
Renee says
No, thank you for commenting Mel 🙂 I hope they enjoy it.
Danya says
Great idea! We haven’t watched Inside Out yet, but it’s on our list of movies to watch this summer. So glad I saw your post, because now we can do this activity after we watch it.
Renee says
Oh you will love it. So many great concepts and hidden humour for adults! It’s definitely one of those movies you watch twice.
Thanks Danya x
Mel says
Hi Renee,
I’ve just stumbled across your website (for the slime recipe..looks great) and so far I love it. Will start reading into it tonight!
I have a question for you though regarding building emotional resilience with kids and I’m almost fearing that we may have left it too late.
Is it ever too late?
Our daughter is 9 and in year 3. She’s a lively, happy, intelligent, active, popular girl but she’s very sensitive and highly reactive and emotional. She cannot self regulate and seems to lack empathy. She’s quite aware of her presence but also incapable of handling the hardships. She’s hard on herself and a perfectionist. We don’t push that angle at all, that’s intrinsic to her.
Considering her natural disposition and the age she’s at, will the ‘good intention’ of teaching her emotional awareness only worsen the situation with her self esteem and pave the way for a rockier teenagedom and so forth?
We have a son (6) and he’s fine – water off a duck’s back..
I like to think we’re pretty “on the ball” parents, we try not to spoil them, we do discipline, we play and read with them, feed them healthy food, we have more green than screen time, they do chores and earn rewards, we talk more than we yell (until the plot is lost) and I’ve read parenting books etc.
We got somewhere for a while but it’s now stagnated. I don’t know what it is that we’re doing wrong!?
Should I just back off completely??
Most material I come across seems to be geared towards the younger children (under 6) would this be relevant for a 9+ year old or can you recommend other activities for this age group?
Thanks again, I’ll get into your site tonight 🙂
Renee says
Hi Mel, thank you for your comment and for sharing your situation. I am so glad you like the slime (I am currently drafting an emotional intelligence/empathy slime that might be more suitable).
Personally, I think it is never too late to work on emotional resilience. It does get harder, particularly for adults, to break some of those reactive habits… At 9 years old though I think it is still so important to work on. She is very lucky to have your interest and support in it.
Sounds like you are doing everything right & are very switched on with both of your children’s development.
Developing Emotional Awareness (E.A) is an interesting concept that can be applied in numerous ways and it goes hand-in-hand with building empathy. Your daughter sounds like she is quite responsive and expressive, so the basic E.A. activities aren’t probably needed. You say she lacks empathy and self-regulation, which are components of emotional resilience. I would suggest focusing on supporting her to develop those traits. I don’t think it would worsen her self-esteem but maybe at her age since she is already self-aware of how she feels and can accurate label her emotions, she could play the game with the extension of “how do you respond”- e.g. when you feel like X what can you do? If you notice your brother feels like X what can you do to help?
Sensitive-emotional people who take things to heart and are hard on themselves tend to react based on their intense feelings without looking past the present moment, (My 8-yr. old is similar & I am to a certain degree too).
I don’t think you should back off at all. Building the capacity to see through emotional intensities, think clearly and navigate a response is quite difficult for children of all ages but it is such an important life-long tool to have… Plus, during certain developmental and hormonal stages, the emotional intensities can be felt like an overwhelming and daunting challenge.
For a start, with the activity above I would extend it, instead of reflecting on the descriptive feelings and discussing the core emotions, you could cut out the descriptors put them in a bowl and play a guessing game geared towards empathy & responses. Pick out a label, don’t tell her what it is and describe a hypothetical situation that she has to guess the emotion for and using self-disclosing statements might help develop empathy. For example, “today I kept dropping things. This morning I broke a coffee mug, then I dropped paper work and it went everywhere. Then I was running late for an appointment and I drop the car keys and they fell under the stairs… How do you think I feel?” Just an idea 😊 I think being a bright happy vibrant 9 year old, she is probably in the perfect position to also work towards some effective emotional self-regulation, whatever works best for her personality; 5 deep breaths, 5 positive thoughts, clench fists tight and slowly release it all, imagine a pretty scene for a moment before reacting, take a walk, singing a certain song in her head.
It is really difficult to make suggestions from an outside perspective and these are just some brief thoughts that may or may not be suitable. Feel free to get in touch with me in the future by commenting, emailing or by social media and let me know your thoughts 😊